The Last Exorcism (2010)

While filming a documentary, a preacher who is renowned for performing Exorcisms with a perfect success rate, get invited to the Sweetzer Farm to preform his final exorcism and to display to the documentary crew, how he is scamming these people.

But after a fake attempt at exorcising the demon fails, the preacher finds out the hard way that demonic possession is all too real.

I wouldn't exactly consider this a horror movie per say. There are not too many scare factors in this film next to a few gruesome looking scenes which included a bit of well placed gore.

The story was very easy to follow. So easy in fact, that they literally explained to you what was going to happen and how it would happen about 20 minutes prior to it being done. This made is obviously predictable and of course kills the ending for anybody who was paying attention to the film.

The documentary movie style has been over played for years now. But they were able to get some fresh, newly innovative scenes in when they had the young possessed girl take hold of the camera to show, first hand, what she has been capable of doing.

The ending was easily a mix of several stolen movies, including the Blair Witch Project, Rosemary's Baby and a little bit of It's alive with a hint of Children of the Corn.
The shock factor or gotcha scenes were never used throughout the film and could have been a quick and easy way, if used properly, to have made this movie actually qualify as a horror film or even a thriller.

On the plus side, this was filmed beautifully, with the exceptions of a few of the night scenes which were much too dark to get anything out of them.

I have to give this movie 3 out of 10. If you are talking about possession, you need to scare me at least once throughout the hour and a half I'm investing in your movie. Especially if said film is sitting in the horror section of Netflix.

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Suspiria (1977)

Suspiria is the story of an American dancer who takes an available spot in a world renowned German dance school in order to improve her abilities.

But the dance academy seems to only be a front for something much worse and much more evil.

Directed by Dario Argento, co-written by Dario Argento and Daria Nicolodi, Starring Flavio Bucci, Stephania Casini and Jessica Harper as Suzi Bannion.

I bought this movie in 2003 when I was working in the electronics department at the local Zeller's store. I found it among several other classic horror movie titles in a boxing day bargain bin.

Because I worked there, I had first dibs on any of the goods that our bargain bins had to offer and sure enough, I stocked up on everything that was deemed scary.

Now, this is where my dilemma came into play. I was unable to ever get into this film. No matter how many times I have tried to do it, I could only get about half way into it and without a second thought, I would turn it off.

Because of this, I decided to go to the internet and explain my thoughts on a forum and got blasted by about 50 different people when I said it was one of the most boring movies in the genre that I have seen thus far.

I then packed it up and never spoke of that day again. Until now.

People have been referencing this movie a lot lately for whatever random reasons, so I decided that my being 10 years older  I would give it another shot and see if my opinion has changed at all.

Especially after watching the entire film this time around.

Unfortunately, the same issues that I had suffered from in the past, seem to be the same problems I am currently having with watching this movie. A good portion of the scenes are played out for an unnecessarily long period of time which seems to makes this painfully long for me.

Any time a scene starts up that could lead to a cool kill or gore filled event, we are graced with a lot of bright light and colors which just threw me right out of the movie. It reminds me of some sort of weird art picture that you would find at any specialized film festival.

I understand this thing has a cult following but I can't suggest this film as something good to watch. I don't care who hates me for it and that's cause it's my opinion and nobody else's.

It's a really odd movie all around and not anything I will ever be watching again, so I believe a 1.5 out of 10 will suffice from me. The death scenes were pretty neat but dragged out way too long, which ruined any of their effects on me.

Other than that I seriously could not get into it no matter how hard I tried and will honestly have to say, I am disappointed that so many people tried to bash me over 10 years ago about this thing when I was right about it this entire time.

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Godzilla (2014)

The U.S. government has been keeping a few secrets from the public. Secrets that, if revealed, could plague the entire world with an evil so intense that it could potentially wipe out all of mankind,

One day, these secrets awaken and start causing chaos, leaving the King of monsters no choice but to awaken from his deep slumber and take on these evil forces head on.

Directed by Gareth Edwards, written by Max Borenstein, starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen and Bryan Cranston.

Godzilla is one of those awesome, classic monster movie creatures that will be around forever. And every 10 to 20 years or so the story is revamped and it's goodness is given to us through a newly made film.

The start up for this film made me smile, as they used historical facts to make it look like governments had already dealt with and taken out Godzilla. Of course, years later they have a series of events that lead up to none other than an appearance by Godzilla.

As a fun fact, I would like to mention that they started up the first scene of the film in 1999. For those of you who recall, this was they year released Godzilla 2000, which was hated by everyone I know including my own father. But I was 11 and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Now a days... not so much.

So basically what they tried to do is erase the memory of that part of the franchise's history. And I do not blame them.

Anyhow, On with the show!

I loved the old school concept Godzilla they used in this remake, reminds me of a DIY movie monster model that I had when I was a kid, the design seemed flawless and with today's technology, makes his actions and movements look amazing.

The acting was alright, nothing spectacular with the exception of the one and only Bryan Cranston.

That man can steal the show no matter what he does!

The story was slightly harder to follow than I expected it to be, but eventually they were able to make it clear as to what was happening or what they were attempting to have happen.

All in all it was a good pop corn flick, the special effects were extremely well done and they didn't over do they monster fight scenes. With that being said I will be giving this new version of Godzilla a 6 out of 10.

It seemed very predictable what they would do with Godzilla after the plot was revealed, but it was still an enjoyable film to watch for the graphics and for some of the fight sequences.

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Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

Rob Zombie's Halloween is the story of a young boy named Michael Myers (not to be confused with the guy from the Austin Powers movies) growing up in a broken home. He is constantly abused by kids at school, his sister and his step father.

When he is finally pushed over the edge, Michael decides to take matters into his own hand and eliminate each and everyone of his problems by course of murder.

After a small killing spree takes place, Michael is placed in a psych ward until his inevitable escape.

Written and directed by Rob Zombie. Starring Malcom McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie, Brad Dourif, Danielle Harris, Scout Taylor-Compton and Tyler Mane as Michael Myers.

This movie came in midway through the "let's remake every movie ever" phase that all the large scale studios were involved with. Basically, if the original made them a decent amount of money or had a fair sized fan base, then it would be considered for a reboot and Halloween was no exception.

I was not looking forward to this one once I heard about it as I am a fan of the John Carpenter original. But my distaste for remakes wouldn't stop this one from getting made, so why even bother complaining about the inevitable.

But hell, was I ever wrong!

Rob Zombie is a pure genius, he not only made this remake work, he made is better than the original.
While sticking to the original film, Zombie reworked the story and gave Michael a strong background which gave the audience a sense of pity for Michael when he was being bullied as a child. That pity translated over to cheering for him when he was taking out some of his victims.

Clearly, I love this movie, there is no other way of putting it. The story was awesome, the casting for most of the roles were spot on (especially for the Sheriff and Loomis) and the kills were perfectly done.

Not really much else I can say about this without sounding like a huge ass kiss, so I will leave it at that and give this movie an 8 out of 10. It was amazing, not perfect but I can watch this one over and over again anytime.

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Saw VII (2010)

We start the final chapter of our journey with a scene showing Dr. Gordon ( the man who cut his foot off in the first film ) crawling to a very hot pipe and using it to cauterize his wound in order to survive.

Directed by Kevin Greutert, written by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan. Starring Cary Elwes, Sean Patrick Flanery, Betsy Russell, Costas Mandylor and Tobin Bell in his final appearance as John Kramer.

And that's when the good of this entire series comes to a complete halt and the crap starts to rain upon us for the remainder of this film!

The story was garbage, the acting was piss poor at best and the addition of several new characters meant their backgrounds get forced down your throat, all in order to have them relate to the current story or set of characters.

I know I stated that the slightly cheesy, 80's style of special effects were awesome in part 6. But they completely went overboard with it in this last part which in turn, really ruined all the death scenes.

One death that really irked me was was the triple-face stabbing machine. The fake body used for the kill looked horrendous. There was no realistic look to it at all and every time they showed the body off I could not help but shake my head and yell at the screen.

So clearly this movie is a piece of crap and should not be viewed by anybody who enjoyed ANY of the other films in the franchise. Stick with  1 to 6 and you will be happy you did.

This predictable piece of crap has the worst effects I have probably ever seen from any movie with a budget over a million bucks and for that it's getting a 2 out of 10. And the only reason it's getting that much from me is because I wanted to see what had happened to Dr. Gordon and they gave me that.

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Saw VI (2009)

Yet another game is afoot and Hoffman seems to always be close to getting off without a shred of evidence pointing towards him. Unfortunately for him there is always somebody lurking in the shadows who is holding new information that may just turn the tables on him.

Directed by Kevin Greutert, written by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan. Starring Mark Rolston, Betsy Russell, Costas Mandylor, and Tobin Bell as John Kramer.

I found the story line to be very well done and much easier to follow than some of the series' previous entries.

We still encountered the same start to finish line up as seen in all the previous films of opening game scene, following by continuing the previous films stories, new game starts, back and forth from game to continuing story and then a graceful finish.

One thing I did notice was the amount of flashbacks were minimized compared to the last few movies. This is something I was fine with due to it keeping the film from getting overly confusing and it allowed for the story line to play out smoothly.

I do have to mention that some of the gore scenes were just awesome to watch. The use of practical effects in this one was phenomenal. I know it's a little played, but when you're an 80's horror fan like I am, you really appreciate effects that aren't of a CGI nature for anything gore related.

I had an easy time figuring out things prior to their reveal but you really can't ask for too much more from a series that has gone on this long.

I will have to go and give this one a 7 out of 10.

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Jacob's Ladder (1990)

During the Vietnam war, a group of American soldiers go through an attack suffering massive casualties, one soldier in particular, Jacob, gets wounded by an enemy soldier's bayonet and suddenly awakens in the middle of a subway train cart.

As his story unfolds, flashbacks of his time at war continue to haunt him. Every time he awakens from one of these flashbacks, things seem to get stranger and stranger in everyday life.

Directed by Adrian Lyne, written by Bruce Joel Rubin  and starring Matt Craven, Dannny Aiello, Elizabeth Pena and Tim Robbins as Jacob.

If there is one thing I can say about this movie, it would have to be "mind f##k"!

I had already been made aware of the situation in which the lead character is in prior to seeing this film, so I figured I could easily understand the craziness that would ensue throughout the movie,

Boy, was I ever wrong!

Jacob keeps jumping through different types of lives. One in which he is divorced and the other where he is still married to his wife, with his family fully intact.

It was hard to determine which was reality and which was a dream or that he was simply crazy and both lives were just figments of his imagination.

A lot of references to heaven and hell were used throughout the movie, like the title for example, characters named after people from the bible and several sightings of demons by Jacob and his platoon members.

This was hard movie to follow but it all came together for me during the very last scene. It was able to answer all of my questions with very little having to be said or done on screen to get the point across of what I had just witnessed throughout the movie.

Although it was interesting and came together well by the end, I believe people with short attention spans and those who do not pick up on details very easily may not enjoy this as much as I have.

If you do not have the time to commit to this movie for the whole 2 hours you may find yourself easily lost. But it is well worth the time and I could easily watch it over again and pick out many more things I may have missed out on the first time viewing it.

I give Jacob's Ladder a 9 out of 10.

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