Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines

Directed by: Declan O'Brien

Written by: Declan O'Brien

Year Released: 2012

Sub Genre: Slasher 

Cast: Doug Bradley, Camilla Arfwedson, Simon Ginty

A group of kids venture out to the Mountain Man Festival for the biggest party of the year on Halloween night.

They end up being at the wrong place at the wrong time when a group of cannibals start to target them in order to help save a friend in need.

Great news everybody! We found a sequel that is rated higher than it's predecessor! Bad news is that the movie is only getting a higher rating because Doug Bradley was one of the leads in the film and he acts his freaking ass off in it!

Now, they weren't specific but I'm assuming that this was a follow up to the prequel that was part 4.

These three killer are once again together and once again, I get pissed off because I know that none of these Inbreeds are getting killed off and we have to sit through another insufferable piece of crap. So thank god the legend himself, Doug Bradley decided to join the cast of this non sense, otherwise I don't think I could have even finished the film.

The story was ridiculous, the acting from everyone, but Bradley, was piss poor, the special effects were laughable and abundantly ridiculous, the kills were boring and the ending make no sense.

Conclusion:

I could continue to complain about this film but why even bother. Watch a compilation of Doug Bradley's performance on Youtube and that should be enough!

1.5 out of 10

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Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead

Directed by: Declan O'Brien

Written by: Connor James Delaney

Year Released: 2009

Sub Genre: Stranded In The Woods / Slasher

Cast: Tom Frederic, Janet Montgomery, Gil Kolirin, Christian Contreras

A prison bus taking a back road in order to transport a high priority convict is attacked and thrown off the road.

The convict, thinking the attack was done by his team to spring him, is suddenly surprised to find that the bus was attacked for dinner and not for his freedom.

I read the premise, I thought it was an excellent idea and of course they just ruined it completely.

I was expecting a lot of advantage changes between the good guys and the bad guys but the criminals had the advantage 95% of the time.

Another sub plot in the story had to do with the group finding a burned out cash truck in the middle of the woods. Of course they would find a burned out vehicle in where the cash was totally unharmed and nobody went looking for.

This just adds greed to the equation and makes for a very annoying back and forth between all the criminals vying for a piece of the pie. They could have easily done without this and it would have turned out to be a much better movie.

And of course, with the advances in CGI technology, studios have to take advantage of paying more money for worse looking effects. This is displayed in a pendulum style kill that removes half the face of one of the characters. The resulting CGI looks like a frame by frame Photoshop picture that actually moves around and looks god awful. This is also displayed in a kill scene at the beginning of the film where a guy gets cut in three equal pieces, resulting in a CGI misting of blood which just disappears into thin air.

The acting was sub par on all parts and some of the criminals were highly annoying and whiny. I did not want anybody to survive next to the final girl.

Conclusion:

This rendition of wrong turn was horrible but yet again the worse is yet to come. They ended it properly but really did not sell the idea to me of several armed criminals being attacked by a single hick. And with the crappy CGI where they could have used practical effects really took me out of the film.

3 out of 10

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